What the heck!!!

Ok, so I don't fully understand what is exactly happening with me, but with the added stress of a fourth child on the way, albeit 8 or so months off, my seasonal affect disorder is going haywire. I haven't had a really bad episode this year and since my surgery it has been almost non existant. Vitamin D was taking care of any issues that I was having. Not today though. I was driving my kidlets up to school (the ones on the bus, not my own) and just felt...dark. There is an immense cloud cover over Seattle today and unfortunately it is hitting me really hard. I then just sat in my car in the parking lot at school and the panic attacks started. I am home right now because I couldn't sit in three hours of classes like this. I realize that may seem as a bit if a cop out for those that don't really get it but for me, this isn't just a way to skip class. I suppose that I will pull out of this eventually. I have to. I have two jobs and three classes and 4 family members that depend on me.